I am amazed at how people do not understand Depression. Lori gets mad at me if my depression interferes with plans. After 25 years, she still gets mad when my depression hurts our plans. It is pervasive, and constantly damaging to our relationship. But it is what it is.
When I am depressed, I am totally on my own. No-one does anything to make it easier.
If Lori does not understand why I am depressed, then I can just disappear into my office. I can tell when Lori is mad at some bad behavior of mine. I can even hear the greater impact of her feet on the floor… stairs in particular. I understand why she is angry. She is a normal human being. But she does not understand how I react, let alone why I react in strange ways. So she gets angry at me. almost every time.
I have learned to deal with things on my own. Depression lasts a lot longer, and takes more of a toll, but I can get thru it on my own. I have for 55 years… since my first memorable panic attack.
Mentally ill people spend a lot of time and energy trying to adjust to the behaviors of even our closest friends. I do not understand you every bit as much as you do not understand me… stop getting angry. I have tried anger, and it does not help. Try to image a different reality. Give us a break.
It has always been my experience, that when I, and other mentally ill people, need help the most, is exactly when people pull away the most…
Ramblings of an Agoraphobe 
None of my business, but I wonder why she has stayed with you. Myself, I went through a divorce after nearly 20 years of marriage for not being sociable enough and letting my “fears” influence me more than “love” and husband entering some possible mid-life crisis stage. Ironically, he joined the peace/mindfulness/universe will provide-type thinking but I was soundly rejected so he could have his fun. It’s the American Way. Indeed, it is what it is.
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Your message makes me angry. The mentally ill are usually abandoned by most people they know. So I understand what it’s like. And there is no excuse for it. I may have said stupid things, but I would NEVER actually leave Lori. And would be devastated by her loss.
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I should have answered that in the Blog… sorry.
She stuck with me because she loves me, AND she sees the me down inside. 90% of the time, she is right there for me. But there are things she does not yet understand, there are occasional problems. “yet” Where would I go? How could I find a better partner???
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PLUS… I am sorry your husband was an asshole. I really do not know what to say. I was not raised that way.
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Sorry to have angered you in any way. I’m glad you as a couple are more “enlightened” than me, and most married couples based on divorce rates. I myself was sad our problems were shared with these new “friends” that I was supposed to hang out and have a good time with.. It’s startling to see your words but that’s my own hangup, in my own relationship, all relationships are different. To be honest, even without “mental issues” it might have blown up, as his thoughts about his family proved. If we weren’t following him, then we were deserting him (his spiritual path). So now I feel dumb for having posted because I was merely remembering some zings directed at me and not the whole picture.
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I am SORRY… I was angry at the failure of relationships… all around us!
I like what you said… there is truth everywhere. Sharing is always best. 🙂
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This is a good thread….
It is just hard all around
On Tue, Aug 29, 2017 at 12:45 PM Ramblings of an Agoraphobe wrote:
> naplak commented: “I am SORRY… I was angry at the failure of > relationships… all around us! I like what you said… there is truth > everywhere. Sharing is always best. :)” >
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