I live in a world outside of yours. I can not explain what happens in my brain because people don’t get it. They try to talk me out of it; or convince me to try something else; or any of a number of things that simply show they simple do not understand.
My brain does not work thru things the same way… It’s as if when there is a dog, I see a horse. I can explain that it’s a horse… I might even know it is not what it looks like. But no amount of discussion will make me see a dog. It’s just not going to happen.
What to do? I don’t know. Maybe just let me see the damn horse! I’m not going to try to ride it. But I have to live with the fact that I see a horse!
Okay… not a great analogy. But you can not talk someone out of being mentally ill.
People get angry with me because I get so very frustrated that I can not get anyone to understand – except people who already understand because they live there too. I have lived a life of mind numbing loneliness, and all people want to do is convince me it’s not so bad… or if I try a little harder, and things will be okay.
I live in Hell, and others get upset because I am not treating them fairly! Only one person in my live has ever treated me as if the way I think is okay – my mother. And it took us a very long time for us to get to that point.
People think I am slighting them… or ignoring their needs… or that I don’t care. Nothing could be further from the truth. But they are clueless about my needs, and belittle them when I bring them up.
Just remember… I am stuck inside me ALL THE TIME!!!
I get so angry when people think we can just snap our fingers and poof, it’s all well. You would never hear someone say to a person with cancer, snap out of it, it’s all in your head! Well YES, actually it is in my head, and it might as well be a tumor. I wonder if they say that because they don’t understand or because they just don’t want to put the effort INTO understanding it??
LikeLike
They do not understand because it is outside their world of experience. They CAN NOT ever really get it.
LikeLike