I fail.  But then I almost always do.  Good thing there is someone to point out my failures to me.  Otherwise I might actually start feeling better about myself.

I know I have a horrible time getting things done.  With my mental issues, and back and knee pain pretty much all the time… but I try to feel good about what I do. 

I can not carry heavy things with my left hand – my fingers and thumb have joint injuries.  My toes have joint issues too, making it difficult to keep my balance at times.  But I still try to move around and I do what I can.  It is never enough.

I can not get things done.  I know that.  I try to work around it.  Of course I am writing about my own wants as well.  I have been trying to get my office set up for a year.  It’s pretty close, but there has been little progress recently.  I try to do house work first, then if I still can, I tinker in my office.

Depression and anxiety are the biggest hurdles I face.  Yesterday I was out of bed about 5 hours the whole day.  I did not eat.  Right now I am getting ready to go take a nap.  Not because I am tired, but because I am depressed, and I feel like life is worthless, and pointless.  It is just the same thing over and over.  Nothing ever gets better.

I know this is all my fault.  There is something wrong with me.  I have no more control over it than when the Sun will come up.  But I still have to be responsible, and acknowledge my failure.

Funny word “fault”.  My father used to tell me that assessing fault is a fool’s game.  There is no way to ever know for sure who’s fault things are.