This is one of those times when nothing matters.  I am sitting here, alone, in the quiet… the curtains are closed, and there is no sound from outside.  All I hear is the sound of my computer fans, and a cat purring.

I do not feel as if I can handle even that much.  I do not care.  I have no hope of ever finding a purpose in life… of ever being able to enjoy life.  What does it feel like to be happy?  And I do not care.

I know things will improve… they always do.  But I do not care right now.  I would sleep to make the day go by more quickly, but that would require effort, and I probably would not be able to sleep anyway.  I have been doing too much of that.

There is no-one to talk with, or to do anything with.  I can not go out without a great amount of planning… I have errands to run.  But it does not matter.  I even slept thru my session this morning – no getting a little bit more sane today.

But you know what?  I do not care.