Tag Archives: trip

My Next Trip on My Own

Tomorrow I am supposed to go off on my second trip by myself.  But I am fighting depression today, and everything is in doubt.

It would be an especially good time to go, because Lori would like to rattle around the house by herself for a couple of days.  And I sure could use the relaxation.  So far this morning I have had to deal with some issues over the phone… neither is yet resolved.  So more effort will have to go there as well.

These may seem little things.  But they can turn my life from one way to another.  I need to get away from the constant anxiety of home.  I love it here – this is my sanctuary.  But even the best place can get to be too stressful.  I am sure we all know how that feels.

I am not sure how this will go.  I do not have much of a plan for today.  There are things that need to be done, and I will have to find ways to do them.

I hate days like this…

A Really Bad Week… Last Week

Last week was a really bad week for me.  Early in the week I lost it, and over-reacted, and said some stupid things.  It left me drained and feeling very bad about myself.  But things just got worse…

Lori and I had a long planned trip to Seattle Friday.  I thought I could handle it, but was not feeling very positive about it.  But we went ahead and went.  That was probably the best thing… or so it seemed.

When we got there, I had to rest in the hotel while Lori went shopping.  I saved up my energy, and pulled myself together, and we went out to dinner.  But I crashed out again during dinner, and could not go to the Nutcracker…  To make this story shorter, I was not up to anything Saturday, and we came home.

I did nothing in Seattle… none of the things I had so long planned to do.  It was a disaster that left me feeling completely crushed.  I let us both down.

Today, Monday, I am feeling better, but not back to “normal” yet.  My anxiety took over, and the whole trip was a failure.  I don’t know what to think of it.  It makes me want to always just stay home – which is sort of what I want anyway, but I do try to have fun going places.  This will make it just a little harder.

I don’t have a solution… nor do I have a happy ending.  It is too soon to know what can be learned from this.  I just needed to write about it.  At least I don’t have to go anywhere overnight for another couple of months.