I over-react to things emotionally… I always have.

My brain tells me I am reacting perfectly normally, but there seems to be a problem with my Amygdala.  I do not have as much control as most people do.  And it all comes out too often.  Usually that happens when I am alone, and great sadness sweeps over me.

There are also indications problems with the amygdala may case anxiety problems… hmmm…

I have had problems with my emotions all my life… I was always known for being emotionally outgoing.  I was known for hugging people, and telling people how I felt.  But I also got upset easily, and fell into depression.  I have had depressive periods since my early teens, but they really started hitting me in college.

The anxiety was there even earlier, but that is another Blog…

My psychiatrist and I have talked about this extensively.  There is not a lot I can do about it with meds, other than tranquilizers… I have tried some prescriptions in the past.  They either do not help, or they tranquil everything out of me.  I can not live like that.

I spend much of my time trying to control how I feel… it is very tiring.  But I can usually do a pretty good job.  There are times when I just can not do it.  And that pushes people away, and makes them wary.

Emotions burst out, uncontrollably.  I say and do things I should not.  Before my anxiety meds, I even became violent at times.  I am doing a much better job of managing my anxiety now.

There are also very few people I can talk to… that know me well enough.  My emotional problems have made it impossible for people to be my friend.  I am alone.  So things build up inside.  And it all gets a bit more complicated.

I over-react.  But that does not mean my reaction is wrong, it is just way overdone.  There may still be truth behind it.