Tag Archives: meds

After Cymbalta

It was just Thursday that I felt the last remnants of Cymbalta affecting my brain.  My brain has finally stopped swimming, and I have stabilized.

The meds I am taking now – Lexapro & Bupropion – are doing a very good job at helping me maintain my balance most of the time.  I am fine on good days at home.  As long as I can stay home, and do easy things, I am fine.

But it is clear that when I have to go out, or have additional pressures at home, I need more.  My anxiety can ramp up very quickly.  I can generally manage… I know ways to tamp down on the anxiety.  But that is very draining, and leaves me too tired for much else.

In a little over 2 weeks I will see my psychiatrist again to discuss where to go next.  We may increase my Lexapro, or try something additionally… or we may try something completely different.  I don’t know.

For the next couple of weeks I will be try to find my baseline.  I am looking for how my current meds help me feel in different low-stress situation.  I know how things go when I am in high-stress situations… I know that all too well.

So I am hoping for as much down time as possible.  I need to find those areas that define the limits of help I am getting from my current meds.

Fun time.

I Will Never Fit In

I am feeling extremely low now.  I have fallen into my own Pit, and have no way out.  it is related to the withdrawal I am going thru… at least I hope so for now.  and there will be more to come.  I have one more step to go to get completely off the Cymbalta.  So this will go on for several more days… at least.

The Lexapro is mostly for anxiety… Cymbalta is better for depression. 

My insides are swirling, and I feel physically drained.  My thoughts are mixed, and I can not concentrate for very long.

It has all brought me down into the Pit once more.  I don’t see any way out.  But it does not matter… I don’t care.

New Meds and Withdrawal

I saw my new psychiatrist last week, and she started me getting off Cymbalta and back on Lexapro.  She says the Lexapro will probably not do enough for me, but it will be better, and once I am stabilized, we can look at other meds.  Good times…

The first few days were uneventful… well… not really.  I had a lot of issues over the weekend with swirling feelings, and anxiety.  I crashed out early Sunday, and did not hold up very well overall.

The beginning of this week looked really good!  my anxiety was down, and I was feeling pretty good.  But things started changing again Tuesday evening.  I was lowering my Cymbalta dose, and Tuesday was the second time I had lowered it.  now I was feeling what I call SBS – Swimming Brain Syndrome.  When I moved around, my brain seems to be lagging behind my head.

It got worse yesterday, and I had to miss session with my psychologist.  there was no way I was going to try to drive.  Today I am a little better… but not much.

The bad thing today is that depression has set in.  (We are going to work on my depression meds later too).  now I am feeling really down, and like I want to just stay in bed.  And I still have SBS!  So I am not doing very well.  I go completely off Cymbalta Sunday, so I think things will take a while to settle down.

I had planned to go out to dinner tonight, but that is looking in doubt.  It’s hard enough to go out at all, but now I feel to upset, and depressed to even think about it.  I might feel better later, so I am waiting to see how I feel.

Anyway… I had not written for a while, so I thought I would fill you all in on where I am.  I will try to write more.

And It’s New Meds Again!

I was finally able to see a psychiatrist today.  Just to refresh your brains… my current doctor decided I needed to go to a specialist for further meds changes.  This was after she changed me from Lexapro to Cymbalta.

Now, I will transition back to Lexapro.  We know that works, though my psychiatrist thinks it will not work well enough for me.  But I want to get myself stabilized before trying anything else.  It would appear I am a tough case… nice.

I am also going to probably have to change my Bupropion.  But that will come later too.

These meds transitions are not very pleasant.  There can be all sorts of side affects, as well as making my emotions dance a bit too much.  Actually, it can mess up my brain in a lot of fun ways.  It can make life interesting.

Also the Lexapro will give me mild headaches for a couple  of weeks – to a month.  That is the only side affect I have had.

I just think it would have been really nice if my doctor had sent me to a psychiatrist last Summer when all this started.  But I guess it’s better now than never.  She just did not listen quite closely enough to me.  It was my decision to give the change a try.  However I got here, it will not be very fun for a while.

I will be continuing to see my regular psychologist as well.

Stay tuned!

Where to “Go” Now

I was scheduled to see a psychiatrist this morning to work on my meds.  I got to a point where my regular doctor felt I needed to see a specialist.  I have a psychologist, but she can not prescribe the meds I need.

But earlier this week, I got to the point where I knew I could not go.  I cancelled.  I had to.  I can not go out on my own.

Now I am locked in a struggle to figure out what to do next.  The problem is that the issue I have is not about going to a psychiatrist, it’s about continuing to see my regular doctor.  There have been issues.

If I decide to get a new doctor, then I have to wait for the psychiatrist until after I would see the new doctor… after I find one.  So I may be delayed…

So I am stuck.

Crazy Is as Crazy Does

Now I have a psychiatrist as well as a psychologist.  Nice…  I have to see a psychiatrist to get my meds worked out.  My OD did not want to try more than we had – I get that.  So off to a psychiatrist I go to get my prescriptions, because my psychologist that I have been seeing for 8 years, can not prescribe meds.  She is a forensic psychologist too.

A couple years back there was a move in Oregon to allow some psychologists to prescribe… but it didn’t go anywhere.  There were too many lobbies against it.

Anyway… My first session there will be in about 2 weeks.  Then I can start trying to get my meds all worked out again.

So I guess this increases my Craziness Rating a bit.  I would put myself at about 62.  But I am no judge of such things.  I will leave that to others.

I have not had much depression the last week or so.  I have been able to get thru it, and move on fairly easily.  It does not last so long anymore.

And I have been getting along “okay” with my anxiety recently.  I have to work very hard at it sometimes.  It grinds me down.  So it is nice to let go and be a bit “crazy” for a while.  But don’t I rite good for a crazy guy?

 

Bad Things Come in Twelves…

And the news just keeps getting better.  My anxiety is still high… my new meds are not doing enough.  So I contacted my Dr. about it, and she has decided I need to see a psychiatrist to get my meds works out.  so I have to find, and go to a new person to get my meds figured out.

I get it that a psychiatrist is better trained to be able to find a solution, but I hate the New Meds Rollercoaster.  There are so many ups and downs during the process…  So it may be a good thing, but it sure does not feel like it.  It’s hard enough to just go out… but going out by myself to see someone new takes time and preparation.

And there will be the new meds to get used to.  And then there is the inevitable dose issues, and whether it’s even the right medication.  I already went thru this for a few months earlier this year.  If you have been thru it, you know how bad it can be.  the idea that it will help in the long run is no conciliation.

I have been feeling depression taking hold ever since I got the news.  I really hate this.

A Very Bad Pain Day

Yesterday was the worst pain day I have had in… at least this year!  I used my anti-inflammatory for my knees and toes, and 2 lidocaine patches on my back.  I have never need 2 patches before.  But even all that did not take away all the pain.

So I was basically locked into just sitting at my desk.  I was only able to do a very few things around the house.  The lidocaine took away my appetite – all I ate was some grapes.  I am still not very hungry.  Fortunately, I don’t really mind being hungry.

Today I am doing a lot better.  My back is still a bit twitchy, and it throws sharp pains at me every now and then.  But it is not as bad as yesterday.  My knee is a little better… not much.  I don’t like to use the anti-inflammatory 2 days in a row, so I will have to deal with that differently today.

I don’t know what I did… but I certainly did something to my back.  I’m glad I know how to deal with it – but it’s still no fun at all!

New Anxiety Meds

I can tell my new meds are not as good at handling anxiety.  This trip has been very difficult – though fun!  My anxiety has been running very high.  I could not do this without Lori being here.  But they are new meds… so they need time to settle in.

This was always a possibility with the new meds though.  I have been on them for a bit over a month… they are working very well when I am home.  It will be difficult to get some of it right because I will not be going on another trip for several months.  My trips are so far apsrt I can’t really gauge anything by them.

Anyway… we are having a good time, and Lori is helping me manage my anxiety so I don’t go running out of restaraunts and such!

 

And… My Back is Out

Fun happens at the wrong time sometimes.  My back is now out… don’t ask about where it went out too.  And I have no idea what I did to it.  But that’s the way it usually happens.

So now I can just relax, and not do anything to make it worse.  Or I can put on a Lidocaine patch to knock out the pain.  What do I do?  I would rather not use the meds if I can avoid it.

So I am going to sit in my chair and relax it away.  What should I do about dinner??

Depression Hang Overs

Since I started one of my new meds, my depression has been a lot better.  I used to get depressed for weeks at a time… now just 4 months later, they generally last less than a day.

Last week, I was depressed for a couple of days, then I worked out of it Friday morning.  But I had a depression hang over… I was right on edge, and totally drained.  Saturday morning could have gone either way.  I was feeling totally out of it.

It took my well into Saturday afternoon to finally start to feel like myself again.  Normally that does not happen.  But I think the fact that my depression was longer than normal contributed to that.  Whatever it was, it made for a difficult morning for Lori.  But everything worked out okay.

The depressions I have are not gone… but they sure are easier to get out of, and manage.  It does surprise me sometimes… like last week.  I feel better about getting thru even the worst depression, though it can leave me with a Depression Hang Over.