Thursday morning, and I do not feel better from my errands Monday!  I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night, and had nightmares most of the night.  I feel almost as mentally drained as I did Tuesday.

I went out to get the mail this morning, and almost had a panic attack – that has not happened for a few weeks!  It was not a pleasant experience.

There must be more to what is going on in my brain, than just those errands.  I know I am getting more upset about my psychologist – it was not right!  But I don’t think that is everything either.

There are a lot of projects staring me in the face, and that adds anxiety, but this is more than just anxiety.  I know how to handle anxiety.

And it’s not depression – I know how to recognize that. 

It is more of an emptiness… just not caring.  But I care that I don’t care.  Does that make sense?  If I were depressed, I would not care about not caring about anything.

It feels like the day after I went out on errands – trying to recover my energies.  But it is not getting better like it should have.  So there is more going on.  I have to think about it, even though I do not want to.  But I need to understand!

When I get closer, my anxiety goes up, and I feel drained.  There is something there.

I just need to wait it out for now…