Tag Archives: clique

I Saw it Coming

I knew when I stood up for a friend, things would get messy.  I have lost several friends on Facebook – most of them were totally predictable.  Cliques have that affect.

My Blog on Cliques   (you may have to scroll down)

I have been called all sorts of names before being unfriended… I expected that too.  It is part of the pattern.  In a clique, if one person “feels” insulted, it radiates to everyone, and they all act in unison.  Their leader is very powerful.  The others will act to protect that person.

Every aspect of my live has been called into question… my teaching, coaching, mentoring… it turns out I was not so good at any of it.  And I have been accused of trashing, bashing, and otherwise attacking a “great” person (as I have pointed out many times over the last couple of years, this person has done some fantastic work with charities).  Though no-one seems to able to point out what I said that was so terrible.

BUT!  I have received even more thanks.  And from unexpected people too!!  Both people who knew about the situation, and some who didn’t, have tried to be supportive of myself, and the original victim.  So I feel good about that.

I struggled with this last evening, but after a nap, I was fine again.  Of course the countdown of my FB Friends may continue… but that is part and parcel of the process of standing up against cliques.  It’s all good.

People in cliques always deny it.  They always say it’s not a clique…  The key is to look at how that group dynamic works.  Especially important is how people enter, and leave the group.  There is more on my other Blog (link above), and I think I have more to say about them as well.

Happy unfriending all!

What are “Friends”?

A situation has come up in my life today that has got me angry.  A few months ago I was unfriended on Facebook by someone I had spent time trying to help in a time of deep crisis.  But I made the mistake of giving some advice about a year after that… unfriended.

That’s okay.  But today I found out that same person threw away her “best” friend, and someone I like and admire, for an even smaller misstep.  And then she had all her friends unfriend this person as well.  Nice…

So I posted that anyone who unfriended MY friend because of this, should unfriend me as well.  2 people have unfriended me so far.  One of them said I am a “horrible human being”, and “Thank God” I am no longer a teacher.  Nice.  I have NEVER bashed the person who started all this on Facebook, or anywhere really – or anyone else for that matter.  I have even made comments about great things she has accomplished.

“Thank god you’re not a teacher any longer!!! Shame on you for bashing former students on your FB page! You’re a terrible human being” is the full post.  I have done no “bashing” of anyone.  I have not been a teacher for 13 years.  Why am I not allowed to have my own feelings and thoughts about former students?  Is that somehow not allowed??

Here is what I had posted: “A NOTCE to my "Friends"… if you have unfriended (name removed) in the last year and a half because of T.B., then you should unfriend me too! This is NOT right!!!”

Where is the “bashing”?

This has been surprisingly NOT upsetting.  It has made me a little angry about how people for Cliques, and try to hurt those they see as an enemy of the clique.