Tag Archives: bupropion

In the Age of New Things

Well… the whole new meds thing seems to be… not an option.  We are tweaking the time of day I take things, to soften up the edges, but I am going to have to do all this on my own.

I am up to it!

This is not what I was hoping for, but nothing is worse today than it was Wednesday.  So I just need to keep going along as I have been – things have been improving.  There is more to learn about how my liver works, and that may give some new clues as to what might help.  If my 2D6 is too “robust”, I may be able to take even more of one med… but that will have to be seen later.

I have a name of a new psychologist, that my psychiatrist has recommended as a good match for me.  I have emailed her to see if she is taking new patients.  That will help too.

There are always new options, and all I can really do, is keep trying.  It does get tiring, and discouraging, but what else can I do?

Have a good weekend all! Smile

Session Yesterday with My Psychiatrist

After going to the Dentist yesterday morning, I went to see my psychiatrist.  Mostly we talked about my meds – I am still struggling too much of the time.

I am adjusting the timing of one of my meds for a couple of weeks to see if that helps.  After that we may alter the form of my med – I could try the Extended Release version.  Then things get more complex.

There is a new kind of Liver test that shows how your liver deals with different kinds of chemicals.  The test shows the efficiency of 6 different pathways thru the liver, that can determine how some drugs are metabolized.

Primarily, the 2D6, and 2C19 pathways are most involved in metabolizing psychoactive meds.  My 2D6 may be too efficient.  That would explain why I need twice the maximum recommended dose of one med, and why that is not enough.  My liver may be eliminating it before it can do its job.

If may also show why Vicodin did not work very well for me.

The down side… the test is about $1000, and it is classified as “Experimental”.  So insurance will not cover it… but I may have no other way to go.  I can’t just keep trying me meds, and combinations.

The Long Depression

About a year ago, I started taking a new med for depression… it did a very good job.  My depressive episodes decreased in number, and became much shorter.  I had forgotten what more than a week of depression felt like.

Now I remember.

I find myself just sitting much of the time… not really even looking at anything.  I would be in bed, but there are things I need to be doing throughout the day.  So I sit here.

I am not sad, or bored, or much of anything.  I am empty… but still there are things I have to do.  There are errands I need to run.  I should be doing “fun” things with Lori on her day off.  But in reality, it is hard to care about any of it.  The not caring is part of depression.  A part that hurts those around me.

Most of the time I am here alone.  So I can stare at my desk all I want.  But I feel some guilt when Lori is here.  There is not much I can do about it…  People can get mad at me, or feel let down, or discouraged.  I hate it, but it is not something I can fix.

The last 3 days have been the worst.  We had to cancel a trip because of things I need to be here for – 2 sick cats.  And it is all my fault.  At least it is my fault that I can not substitute anything for that trip… I am not prepared to go anywhere.

Fortunately the pattern in my desk has some interesting contrasts.  I sort of watch TV some of the time.  I am not really interested, so it has to be something good, and something I know well enough to ignore.

I don’t care.

All of that is just to help the time pass more quickly…

How My Meds Have Made My Agoraphobia Worse…

Yup… that’s right.  My meds have made my agoraphobia worse, while making my life better.  And actually, my meds have made my agoraphobia worse because of how they have helped my life be better.

Before I started on any meds, I was able to go out more, and more easily.  I did not go out to socialize more… but I could go out.  I always had high anxieties – I just didn’t know it.  So going out was not much worse than staying home.

Now, my life is better.  My anxiety is much better, and usually easy to manage.  That is if I am home, and there are no real stresses.  But going out causes a LOT of anxiety.  It’s still not as much anxiety as I used to have when I went out before though.

The problem is the difference between staying home and going out has increased pronouncedly.  Before meds, it was not a lot worse than being anywhere.  But now going out makes things a lot worse.  There is more incentive to stay home.  It’s harder to get out at all.

Of course, I like it this way a lot better… and that may be why I am fine with staying home more.  It is harder to deal with the increase in anxiety now.

I’m not sure where all this will lead me, but I know it will continue to improve.  I just have to be aware of the catches.