I put on a good show… even in therapy.  I am always in a “better” mood when I talk, or share about myself.  Yup… When I am feeling worse – more normal – I do not communicate much at all.  I learned a long time ago that people do not want to see the truth if they think there is nothing they can do.

So this is Me Lite. 

I make plans as if I am actually going to follow thru.  Every evening I think about what I could do tomorrow.  It almost never happens.  I can not go places, or accomplish things at home.  Everyday I struggle to get up, and get going.  I probably would not if it weren’t for the kitties – they need feeding, and one needs meds.

It is all I can do to get thru most days.  Anxiety and depression take a constant toll.

But it’s not like I have a lot of options.  There is more I need to do – it just takes more planning and energy than I have.  I want to be able to relax more, but having actual fun seems out of reach.  It does not happen very often.  Most days I just get thru…

Maybe I am better, but I am not seeing it.