Category Archives: Good Things

I Have FBS…

Full Brain Syndrome

There is way too much to think about.  Thoughts are swirling thru my mind, and it is hard to get a hold on any of them.

Yesterday was my first session with a new psychologist.  It went very well, and we seems to get along.  I will be going back for at least 1 more session… probably next week.  But there is still a lot to think about.

After my session yesterday, my mind was overwhelmed, and I was not able to think about it very much.  I took a mental vacation.  Today I am starting to have some clear thoughts about it… that will go on for a few days.

So… I am still not ready to write much.  I will get it all sorted out soon enough.

That’s One Small Step For… Me

I have started looking for a new therapist.  My former psychologist has recommended a couple of people I am contacting today – LOTS of anxiety about this. 

But I think we can all agree, that I really need to get going again, and this is the way to go.

My last psychologist is no longer doing therapy.  I can understand that.  It must be very draining to conduct therapy.  I will be staying in touch though.

I do known she helped me put my life back together when I most needed it.  And she probably saved our marriage.  I remember the people who have helped me in my life.  This is a big one!

There will be more on this soon.

And The Race Begins Anew

I have direction now.  I know what I am going to be doing for my mental problems.  Well… at least I know where I am going to start.  Now I just need to finalize how I am going to carry out that first step.

This is fine… I want to think for a few days, and make sure I am handling things correctly.  But I feel good about my decisions.

For now, I am not going to say what I will be doing.  Except that I will be going back into therapy, and I want to be able to pick up where I left off last Spring.  This will take some effort – I will have to push myself quite a bit.  But it is all doable.

Even this week I am struggling with having to go out.  That, even though a couple of things I need to get are things I have been really looking forward to.  There is also cat food.  But it all means going at least 3 places, which has been my normal limit for a long time.  And there are 2 other places I “should” go as well.

This is the first issue I have to deal with.  I need to learn how to use my energies more effectively, and get out more.  I know I can do that.  And successes will help me.  So I am sort of looking at things that will feel like success.

There is also something I would like to do this coming weekend, and I have a lot of doubts about that.  No matter how difficult local shopping can be, going out to events where I will have to deal with a lot of people, are still a huge obstacle.

So I move forward… taking tiny steps to learn what it feels like to succeed.  Wish me success! Smile

A Very Good Week… and a Trip!

Last week was a vacation week for Lori.  I decided to skip the Blogs, and just try to have a nice relaxing time.

It started out a bit shaky, and we ending up not going camping.  But we had a nice time at home, and on Friday went to our favorite place in Newport, Oregon for a couple of nights.  Those were my first nights away from home in 7 months!

We had a wonderful time!  Lot’s of great food at April’s – she is a genius in the kitchen!!  I even found a very nice sketch on multiple layers of glass.  Lori found 2 very nice little trunks for our dinning room too!

So I am starting out the week on an up note, and it feel very nice.

I have also developed a clearer plan for what I am going to do about my metal situation.  So all in all it was a great week!

I really needed a good week – we both did!  And there it was!!!

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming

Dora was right.

I am still swimming.  To be honest, I feel absolutely horrible this morning.  But I know this will pass too.  If things fall into place the way I think they will (could?), I will be able to get better.

My psychologist said I had an “undying optimism”.  It is one of the things that has allowed me to get this far.  I still believe.

It is difficult, and some times I want to give up.  But I always pull back together, and keep moving forward.  It is a huge drain, but it has worked for a very long time.  And it continues to give me enough energy to be able to keep trying.

So… not to worry… I will keep going.  And maybe things will take a great turn for the better today!  Or tomorrow… but it will come.

Some Things I Know

I know what I want my life to look like.  I know how I want to spend my time.  I can see the good life.

But I can not do it.  I keep telling myself I will get there, but things have gradually got more difficult over the last couple of years.  If you read this Blog often, you know that.

I have the audacity to believe I can get there.  And I will.  I have not yet found the way to go.  But I will.  I have too many days where all I can do is get thru the day.  Literally.

Even that will get better. 

It Was More Interesting When…

When I was in therapy, I generally had better things to write about here.  There were plans and ideas.  I had things to reflect on, and new thoughts to share.  There were many positive things in my Blogs, even when I was not feeling very positive.

Now I mostly write about the boring – the everyday stuff that fills the empty places in our lives.  It’s okay… but there is not as much to learn from it.

I need to get myself back on track towards something.  I need to be learning about life.  And I need to write about that part of my life.  Not so much this part.  I can do that!

There are a lot of things I need to get back to working on.  I am not sure of the complete list.  Though I suppose I have run thru a lot of it the last few months right here in these blogs.

I have started writing a Blog about things I am planning to make it easier to do more shopping.  I have been thinking about that a lot, and I am ready to try a couple of things.  I may even start tomorrow with one simple idea.

So tune in and see something a little more promising.

Happy Anniversary!

Lori and I have been married for 16 years today.  We were married in a wonderful outdoor ceremony in Ashland, Oregon – our favorite place to visit.

Thru all the good times, and bad, Lori has been with me to help me when I needed, and to comfort me when I was down.

I could not have made it this far without her Love and companionship.  Together we are making our own life here in Woodburn.

So happy Anniversary to my Loving wife… and many more!!

I Still Have a Plan

I have been hurt by the events of last week.  It still echoes thru my thoughts.  I have a deep sense of having been abandoned by someone I really needed to be able to rely on.  And it will have long term affects.

But I still have a plan to help get more done, and feel better about my life.  I will continue on that plan.

Yesterday was a turn-around day for me ~ I had a wonderfully relaxing day, and feel more optimistic.  Things will get better, and I will find a way to get back to “normal”.

George Harrison’s Masterpiece

All Things Must Pass… the Album

Back in 1978 I bought my first stereo. And I bought a bunch of albums – yes good old vinyl albums. The first one I listened to was “All Things Must Pass” by George Harrison. I think it’s the greatest Rock album ever produced. It came out in 1970, and features not only Harrison on the guitar, but Eric Clapton, and Dave Mason (Classical Gas) as well.

Ever since then, when I move, the first album I listen to when my stereo is set up is “All Things Must Pass”. That has continued thru 7 moves. This one was no exception… even though it took me 9 months to get my stereo set up this move. Even so, it was grand! There are so many significant songs on that album.  Songs with real meaning in the World.  I think my favorite song is “Isn’t it a Pity”.

For those of you who don’t know… a wah-wah is the little lever on electric guitars that slightly changes the tension on the strings. And it makes a sort of wah-wah sound. And it’s one of my favorite songs on the album.

There seems to be a problem with comments posting… I will look into it.