Category Archives: Fun Things

Scale Plastic Modeling

I build highly detailed scale models.

Below in the cockpit interior of a Hawker Harrier. not finished.

It requires the commitment of time. You can’t just pick it up and put it down. You are working with paints, glues, and resins that have time limits. Usually I have to know I can commit at least a half hour. And most of the time, I don’t feel up to it. But I still tinker away at times.

There are modeling clubs… but there are some issues. The closest one is almost about an hour away. I really struggle with new people, especially if I am on my own. Most modelers in clubs are conservative. I get along fine with conservatives, even though I am pretty liberal. But that is not a place to look for outside friends. And the conversations drift into areas I want to avoid – politics. I have tried, though it was years ago.

I know fully well I may be wrong about everything I think about people. And I have grown to not trust my decision making with regards to people. I think I do the wrong thing too often.

My Interests, and Hobbies

My Hobbies:

I have been interested in photography since I was a child. I don’t get around to printing much though.

As long as I can remember, I have loved building models… and just about anything. I even have a jeweler’s rotary tool for slow cutting plastic without melting it. And I make parts from scratch.

I have a metal lathe and mill, and table saw, and all. I like to design and make things. I can do very complex designs completely in my head. I can calculate any dimension in a moment… when I need it.

Shakespeare, and other Live theater. That’s why I can still go to Ashland. I have seen a theater half full of high school students watching Midsummer Night’s Dream… totally enthralled, and laughing hysterically. We heard kids say they never knew Shakespeare was like that.

Formula 1 racing. World championship auto racing– NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon says he is not serious enough about racing to ever race F-1. He has driven an F-1 car.

Recently I have been enjoying updating my 1994 Honda del Sol. I have changed all the front lights, and installed a new, more efficient air-intake. Soon there will be a new 4-2-1 exhaust manifold. I want the car to stop wasting energy on pulling in air, and pushing it out. (I do know you can’t “pull” air, but it’s easier to say than to get into a pressure-differential discussion). The new carpeting is great too!

Writing is probably the most important. It is my best way of expressing my visions… whether it’s journaling, or fiction. I have started writing a book called “Elnor”. But I stall out way too often. It is a very complex story… creating a new society that functions differently than ours in many ways.

And recently I have taken up shooting – Air-rifle shooting at 10m – like in the Olympics. I had to give up archery long ago because my left shoulder could not hold up a bow. My Walther puts the weight down on my shoulder instead in it being pushed in. If that makes sense.

My Interests:

My mother taught me to be interested in all things… and I pretty much am.

Oh yes… and cats.

AND once a common nickname for detective was “gum-shoe”.

Can a Gryffindor Live with a Slytherin?

It can be tough at times.  But Lori’s Slytherin training, and contacts have taken her far in the business world.  She has her ways you know.   And she seems to be able to keep a tight reins on her friends and family…

As a Gryffindor, I try to work together with everyone, to make things flow along more smoothly.  Be open and outgoing I always say.

gryffindor_shieldI am not sure about the “evil” part though.  Lori have not been terribly evil most of the time.  Of course… she is gone working a lot.  And she has been known to fire people around Christmas.  So I keep my eyes open.

If only it weren’t a snake…

Waffles with Blueberries and Blueberry Syrup

Waffles-001For some reason, this suddenly sounded very good.  My Mom liked waffles.

I have been thinking today, about the fun things I can have at home.  I have been figuring out some things for my Shop.  I am more focused on my own private life.

And I will be focusing on home life.  There is only one other person I should be thinking about.  I can not make friends.  It does not work for me.  That is not to say I never will be able to have friends… it just means I can’t do it now.

I will focus on my life.  I will not be devoting energy to people outside this home.  I won’t put them off… but I won’t make any efforts.

Actually, this will be very difficult.  There are times when everyone feels the need for company.  I need it too sometimes.  But I can avoid it if I am careful.  There may be times when I can not make my brain work as I wish.

I honestly believe that would be better for me for a while.  There are things to not like about it, but it would be a lot less stressful.  And when I reach out, no-one responds… no-one wants to just talk about it.  It’s okay.  I am probably one of the more difficult people to talk with.  So I end up pushing people away…

There are many details to figure out as I go along.  I can make it work.

AND… I found my car key.

What Theater Can Do

 

ArtSkyline

Theater can change lives.

A couple of years ago, I saw a play that opened a huge collection of memories I had lost track of.  Thank you Mark Bedard.

They did a version of Animal Crackers at OSF.  It was fabulously funny.  Even Mark (Grouch) lost it when Mr. Pickles appeared.  We saw it 3 times.

But there was much more to it for me.  It brought back memories of time I spent with my Mom watching movies – Saturday Afternoon at the Movies.  As well as other days during the Summer.  It was mostly movies from the `30s and `40s… including the Marx Brothers movies.  It was a wonderful time.

I was not happy as a child… but these times with my mother were some of the best.  And I developed a love of the old movies.  So when I saw one on stage, as it was meant to be, it was rejuvenating.  Two years later, I still smile when I think about it.

And this year, they are doing The Coconuts!  One of life’s great joys.

Theater has the power to bring all sorts of memories, and association into our minds.  The Play is the thing.

A Little Here… and a Little There

Help comes in many forms.  It can sneak up on you from unexpected places.  We have to be aware, and be receptive for when it comes along.

Just when I was wondering if my Blog was of any real value, if it mattered at all… someone comes along, and reads the entire thing… every Blog!  Suddenly, I feel a nice contact, and a bit more reassured.  Little things matter.

Thank you to all the bringers of goodness, and peace.

Those of us who hide, have a hard time reaching out.  We have a hard time making contact even when we do.  But when we do, it can be a wondrous thing.

A Dream of Mine… in miniature

When I was a child, there was one thing I always knew would be fun, and would help me feel better.  That was working on my models… cars, airplanes, and ships.  But mostly ships.  Working on them created a now lost sense of mental peace.

The problem is there are too many other things that intrude.  I can not sustain it.

The vast majority of those interruptions come from my own mind.  Things have to be just-right for my mind to be able to move on with my own creative thoughts.  They keep coming back though.  I will gradually fade…

And on top of that there is the outside world… and by that I mean outside our home.  I can not escape it any more easily as anyone else.  But I wish I could.  I wish I could pick and choose what I will pay attention to… what will actually matter to me.  I find my mind “sucked” into the News world.  And I can lose hours in it.  I would like to live in a bubble.  It is a dream.

What I do is creative.  I make things.  And there is art in the making of them.  Is it not as productive as reading a book?  Somehow that seems more acceptable.  “Go read a book.”  But it is still a hobby that does not change the world.  It is to make the world an easier place to live in.  We have to escape… everyone…

And I need to spend a large part of the rest of my life living like this.  I do not have that much left.  I will take care of my friends, and I will narrow my interests elsewhere.  I would do this if I could.  The real world still demands so much…

Where is the balance?  How much time is my own?  How much do I owe elsewhere?

I do not know.  How much can I play?

They Have a Cat Named Shelly…

The Sylvia Beach Inn has a cat that roams the entire building.  Her name is Shelly.  This last time I was there, when I first went to leave my room Wednesday morning, Shelly was sitting in the hall, facing my door, and meowing.

She knows a cat person when she sees one.

Shelly also followed me around most of the day.  Crazy cat.

It was very relaxing, and rewarding to be in Newport.  Don’t go looking for Silvia Beach though… that was a person.  She owned a Shakespeare bookstore in London.  The hotel is at Nye Beach.  There are no TVs, or even wi-fi.  The place is ALL about reading.  And I sure did my share this last trip.

The whole trip was fun – except as previously noted in my last Blog.  But it got me into a whole new range of thoughts.  Is it enough that is was so fun to be there?  Or does it need to have a lasting effect when I get home, to make it worth going?  I have been thinking about that way too much.

I have also been thinking about the panic I had that second night.  Maybe I need a flannel blanket.  I suspect this is a problem that would gradually fade, even if I do not do anything about it.  As I get used to being there, and sleeping there, the anxiety should fade away.  But I am still going to have a Plan B.

My next trip will be in a few weeks.  I think it will be a lot of fun… I am going to go to the Aquarium again.  Maybe I will go a new place.  But the point of being the is the Hotel.  So I don’t expect to go many places.  Good food is close at hand…

Back Home, and into the Real World

Yesterday I got back from Newport again.  Things went pretty well, and I was able to relax most of the time.  I read 2+ books, and had some nice meals.  I met a nice couple from Albuquerque that I had breakfast with twice.  I also bought myself a present.

But there were also problems.  One was that I kept in too close contact with Lori, and it kept me thinking about things at home too much.  Even though they were mostly good things, so it did take time to relax again.

The main problem I had was the late evenings.  Both nights, I had way too much anxiety.  The second night, I almost had a panic attack – I was able to deal with it, but just barely.  It was very bad.  I wanted to come home.  So I will need to figure out that issue.

I did not sleep very much, but I did not feel very tired, so I think it was okay.

And I have a plan.  I think I should stay up in the reading room until later into the night.  I was going back down to my room to read, too early.  Once I was back in my room, the anxiety started to build.  Maybe I was not ready to go back to my room – the reading room on the top floor is a very special place.

I came home feeling more relaxed than when I left – that was not the case after the first trip.  So things are improving, and I expect that to continue.  I was very relaxed while I was there, (except as noted).

There will be more about my trip in further Blogs… including some things I wrote while I was there.

My Next Trip on My Own

Tomorrow I am supposed to go off on my second trip by myself.  But I am fighting depression today, and everything is in doubt.

It would be an especially good time to go, because Lori would like to rattle around the house by herself for a couple of days.  And I sure could use the relaxation.  So far this morning I have had to deal with some issues over the phone… neither is yet resolved.  So more effort will have to go there as well.

These may seem little things.  But they can turn my life from one way to another.  I need to get away from the constant anxiety of home.  I love it here – this is my sanctuary.  But even the best place can get to be too stressful.  I am sure we all know how that feels.

I am not sure how this will go.  I do not have much of a plan for today.  There are things that need to be done, and I will have to find ways to do them.

I hate days like this…

A Very Small Thing – and Cheese

… I never learned was to to hide my reality.  Oh… I got very good at hiding it from people who did not want to see it.  And I am very good at hiding myself.  But I tend to let people right into my brain without enough vetting.

This Blog would be a good example of that.  I am not good at keeping things in.  That just does not work for me.  Maybe there is just too much of it for me to handle alone.  Or maybe I need to run things by people to see how it all sounds…  Whatever the reason is, I have to write, and I want people to read it.

My blogs tend to be short, and hopefully to the point.

And then Cheese will always help too.  It’s a good thing.  I do use food to help calming myself sometimes, and there is usually cheese. 

I do believe that our bodies to not metabolize dairy fat the way they do other finds of fat, and so it is not as “bad” for you.  Just ask the French.

Lori Loves Niki Lauda!

We watched “Rush” and “1” yesterday, and now Lori loves Niki Lauda!  “Rush” is the Ron Howard film about the struggle between Niki Lauda and James Hunt to win the 1976 Formula 1 World Championship.  “1” is a very good documentary about the development of Formula 1, and the shifting towards an emphasis on driver safety.

Lauda is featured in both films.  And the Austrian managed to Super-Impress Lori.  And “1” is more like a movie than a documentary most of the time.

I made the observation that the documentary shows some parallels to what is happening in the NFL today about safety.  The sport is changing to start putting more emphases on safety.

If you watch the films, watch Rush first… the documentary gives away the ending.

My Life’s Passion

As far back as I can remember, I have been Obsessed with efficiency.  Every movement is a test in efficiency.  How I do everything is carefully designed.  And there are so many outside intrusions – things I must think about.

This may be one of the reasons I like building scale models – there is an exactness to it that most hobbies do not have, (though some have more).  It is all about the detail.  It is impossible for me to do, or observe anything without thinking about how to make it better or more efficient.  Just ask Lori.

It is as fundamental a part of my life, as glass is to Dale Chihuly.  It is what my brain does best.  And it matters that it matter.

I design things in my mind… things I can make in my shop.  The design gets better and better – read that as fewer and simpler parts.  But I get to a Eureka point, where I know I am done.  Suddenly, I know the designing is the best I can make it… move on.  This is such a good feeling… it is like everything being perfect, all at once.

It can take a while to get there.  But the more freedom my mind feels, the more easily I reach that feeling.  It is a very good thing.

I am trying to change how I live, to make my life more conducive to that feeling.  Part of it is getting away from home, from time to time.  My hobbies are another big thing.  But whatever it is, getting to do those things, gives my mind the joy, and reassurance we all need.  Freedom of mind is very important.  It gives me Peace.

SOON:: Distractions of the Mind