I live in a neutral world. My environment is almost entirely neutral. Without interaction, I have no measure in reality. There is no validation, or critical-help. There is just neutral.

Things I perceive as neutral, are a potential threat. Starting with no particular feeling one way or the other, the thought of doing anything is met as a potential threat. Things could get worse. I could fail. And I am my only judge, so I perceive the danger of failing to be greater than the potential reward. Sometimes it fades away, and I can do things again. Sometimes I can never get past the potential for failure – which is a threat.

Quite the conundrum.

Gradually, anything I might want to do will fade away. My brain will gradually cut all ties… another project unfinished. And hobby left sitting. And just one more book left unwritten. It does not really matter. A thousand years from now, very few people alive will be able to name anyone from our era. So what does it matter?

I get along fine.

The only thing that changes, is the date.