Daily Archives: May 26, 2014

The View Can Be Nice From Here

The sun might be out at times.  And there are some nice plants growing on the walls.  The echo sounds good if you sing to yourself… or you can pretend it is someone else talking.  And lightening would not make it down the hole to the bottom.

Even in the Pit, there are good things to think about.

I spend a lot of my day doing just this… trying to find the good parts of the world.  And my ideas can be pretty much of a stretch, but it is often all I have.  Like right now.  The one about the plants really did make me feel better.

It’s all I can do to hold on.

A Little Here… and a Little There

Help comes in many forms.  It can sneak up on you from unexpected places.  We have to be aware, and be receptive for when it comes along.

Just when I was wondering if my Blog was of any real value, if it mattered at all… someone comes along, and reads the entire thing… every Blog!  Suddenly, I feel a nice contact, and a bit more reassured.  Little things matter.

Thank you to all the bringers of goodness, and peace.

Those of us who hide, have a hard time reaching out.  We have a hard time making contact even when we do.  But when we do, it can be a wondrous thing.

U-Turns on to Infinity

I am a fairly smart person.  But I am trapped in a brain that does not work well.  I am usually smart enough to hide the confusion, and despair from people around me – they don’t like to see that.  I make mistakes.  Bad ones.  Then I am left alone to try to work my way out of the Pit.

Why would anyone assume someone with serious mental problems, is always going to be logical, and reasonable?  I am not always either of those things.

I can say I am sorry… but it all still counts against me.  I get it.  People don’t really care why you do things… they are not going to attempt to delve more deeply into someone else’s problems.  So often, the most vulnerable people, are the ones most at risk of being labeled, and forgotten.  The ones who need the most…

I say I am sorry… and that totally dismisses any and all of my thoughts, concerns, or expressed needs.  I was crazy when I said those things.  So they are obviously wrong.  Nothing I say will ever get a fair hearing… I am crazy.  It is all forgotten until the next time.  I guess I am stupider than I thought.

Of course, this is all my fault.  I fight for myself, then have to u-turn and become passive.  I want people to understand, then turn around and push them away.

Yup… crazy…