My personal history, seems as a nightmare to me now.  To had to stand in front of people, and teach…  I can not imagine doing that now.  It could not really have happened.

I can not understand how I did it.  It’s like once having been able to fly… and now I can not understand how I did it.  And from my point of view, that is a good comparison.  It seems like flying… how could I have done that?

My mind is not able to go places Ii it used to be able to go.

I am not sure, but I think I like it here better.  But that does not answer the question.  How could I have done that?  And what brought me here?

When I think about teaching… or as is more common, I have nightmares about it, it is my Hell.  How did I get here?  My mind has changed…