A nice palindrome.

I do not do well at traveling.  People who know me, know that.

Sometimes, someone will suggest a place to go… it is interesting.  So we talk about it.  There are enticing ideas of things we could do, and I get optimistic.  And there will be a plan.  So I wait… they will have a plan.  And I wait… and wait…

People who know me also know my brain never stops thinking.  So I roll the idea around in the back of my mind.  In an absence of new information, my brain comes up with more bad things about the trip, than good things.  Eventually, I reach a tipping point where I no longer feel comfortable with the whole idea.

Then they get mad at me.  It is my fault that I was not patient enough to wait for the plans, which never seem to be forthcoming.  I could just assume it will happen, but my brain does not, never has, and probably never will be able to do that.  People know that about me.

But no matter how many times people see the same results, they will keep trying to plan trips by the same method.  What did Einstein say about intelligence?  I am supposed to rewire my brain, and react to the same stimuli in a new way.  But they – the sane ones – get to follow the same path, and it always becomes my fault.

I am growing very tired of this.

SO… I will NOT travel overnight to any new places for the remainder of this year, nor probably throughout all of next year as well.  If others wish to travel, I will wish them a Bon Voyage.

Again… I can not change the way my brain works, and I have grown increasingly unable to push myself beyond my limits, to meet the conditions meted out by others.