Monthly Archives: April 2014

In the Age of New Things

Well… the whole new meds thing seems to be… not an option.  We are tweaking the time of day I take things, to soften up the edges, but I am going to have to do all this on my own.

I am up to it!

This is not what I was hoping for, but nothing is worse today than it was Wednesday.  So I just need to keep going along as I have been – things have been improving.  There is more to learn about how my liver works, and that may give some new clues as to what might help.  If my 2D6 is too “robust”, I may be able to take even more of one med… but that will have to be seen later.

I have a name of a new psychologist, that my psychiatrist has recommended as a good match for me.  I have emailed her to see if she is taking new patients.  That will help too.

There are always new options, and all I can really do, is keep trying.  It does get tiring, and discouraging, but what else can I do?

Have a good weekend all! Smile

Session Yesterday with My Psychiatrist

After going to the Dentist yesterday morning, I went to see my psychiatrist.  Mostly we talked about my meds – I am still struggling too much of the time.

I am adjusting the timing of one of my meds for a couple of weeks to see if that helps.  After that we may alter the form of my med – I could try the Extended Release version.  Then things get more complex.

There is a new kind of Liver test that shows how your liver deals with different kinds of chemicals.  The test shows the efficiency of 6 different pathways thru the liver, that can determine how some drugs are metabolized.

Primarily, the 2D6, and 2C19 pathways are most involved in metabolizing psychoactive meds.  My 2D6 may be too efficient.  That would explain why I need twice the maximum recommended dose of one med, and why that is not enough.  My liver may be eliminating it before it can do its job.

If may also show why Vicodin did not work very well for me.

The down side… the test is about $1000, and it is classified as “Experimental”.  So insurance will not cover it… but I may have no other way to go.  I can’t just keep trying me meds, and combinations.

“THE” Dream – with variations

Sunday night I had my most common nightmare.  I will try to describe it…

It was morning, and I had just arrived at the High School I taught at.  I am starting to have a panic attack – that was very common on my way to work.  There are very few students or teachers around.  I have been commuting from my current home for the entire school year… it’s early May.

I know I have to decide if I want to continue teaching there… my panic is getting worse.  There is a lot of mail in my box, as I haven’t checked it for several days.  I go to my classroom, and find it as it was when I was first teaching – before the remodel.  But there is some other teacher in there, and all my stuff is gone.  I am not even sure what I will be teaching.

I have a hard time working my way back up the hall to the office – my panic attack is raging, and I know I can not do this anymore.  I have to quit, and go home.

But there is no-one in the office.  There is no-one to tell… I can not do this anymore.  I HAVE to go home.  I look thru every office to find someone to call a sub.  There is no-one there who works there.  But there is not much more time to get a replacement.

So I look down the hall towards the science and math wings, and there are very few students in the halls.  And they move slowly… and are indistinct.  As I walk past the councilors offices, I see that it is very crowded with students, so I can not talk with my friends there…

I go to the room of a teacher who often helps me calm myself down.  He is not there.  He is on a speaker phone over internet.  There were 2 small stereo speakers.  He could hear me, but there were several students around… and he is trying to teach.  I wandered away.

Ultimately, I decide I just have to go home.  I have my car key, but I can not find my car.  I always can not find my car in these dreams.  I remember all the places I parked, and I could not find it.  I end up walking all the way around the school looking for my car.  I never find it.

I went back into to school, and still there was no-one who worked there, and very few students.  By this time I am starting to fall apart.

This is where I woke up… and about where I usually wake up.  And I did.

Where the Heck Have I Been?

Caliban is home after being missing for more than 2 weeks… but I have not written since he has been back.  My energies were depleted while he was gone, and have taken a while to build back up some.  I am still not quite right, (am I ever?).

I missed one trip to Newport while Caliban was missing… I hardly went anywhere except to look for him.  I have been out a couple of times since, so that is about back to normal.

But my mind still seems to be off a bit.

Actually, I have been having a lot of unusually sudden low periods.  I am swinging back and forth emotionally more than is normal for even me.  How long will this go on?  (that is a rhetorical question)

My little beasties are very important to my life.  They are my friends.  And they really do make my life easier – except in the morning during feeding time at the zoo.  But it is all worth the effort.  Maybe I am just being overly vigilant right now…

I have had many thoughts about what to write, I have just not been able to think them thru.  I hope to get back to more regular writing soon.  Once my mind settles back down to its normal craziness, things will be better.  Until then… pet Caliban.

BTW… the Cat Fence has been repaired so Caliban can not get out again.