These are the times that nightmares are made of.  As time goes by, I am increasingly feeling cut-off.  It has only been a week since I “lost” my psychologist, and I have not yet seen its full impact.  I know that will come…

This is all my own fault… I should have been more clear why I was not coming back to session at times.  But whatever the cause, I am now cut-off from anyone impartial to share with.  There is nowhere to discuss my ideas… and no-one to help me refine them.  Friends are too close, or too far away.

That is my greatest loss.  That can not be replaced, and it will bring me to a halt before I can implement new ideas.  And the biggest loss, is my loss of trust in anyone.

I am sure this is just the beginning of a decline.  At least it will be far more difficult, if not impossible, to move forward.  Why would I risk going out of my safety zone?  Why bother trying to make changes if I have no test in reality?

The way ahead is dark, and nothing but mystery to me now.  I have felt some anger about it, but that is overwhelmed by fear.  And this will only get worse…