I have, at times this year, made significant progress.  But each time, events have hit me hard, and knocked me back.  I really think that is fairly normal.  I am not fond of this system though.

Now I find myself in a place I have been before… it is familiar.  I have to rethink much of my life, and my goals, and how I could get there.  I have discovered that I have been operating under some misconceptions.  And they could affect just about everything I am.

It has also thrown the breaks on my efforts to do more at home, and find success here, before stretching farther.  It is a plan I developed with the help of my psychologist.  And it was working.

Now I will have to cut way back on those efforts.  I have not been to the grocery store in a couple of months.  Recently, I have known I would not have to do the grocery shopping, and it caused a much bigger reduction in my built up anxiety by the end of the week.

I was doing a lot more at home – especially with my hobbies.  But I was also doing better at my household chores, and even doing things not on my list!  It was getting so good, I found myself without the TV or stereo on much of the time.  I had other, more fun things to do!

It has now been almost 3 weeks since there has been any grocery shopping done here.  I ran out of Guinness over a week ago.  I am scrambling to meet some of my needs.  Fortunately, a local Walgreen’s is one of the places I can go, and I have been able to keep up.

Not any more.  We are now out of the right food for one of our cats.  He pretty much has to eat it.  I have stalled as long as I could, but I still have no idea how to resolve that issue until Wednesday when I have to go out to see my psychiatrist.  I can stop for a couple of things then.  I hope.

So I am now back where I was.  I spent about 4 hours today working very carefully on my plan to go to Walgreen’s tomorrow.  If nothing goes wrong, I should make it just find.  But the result is that I start the week already depleted.  I will not get much done around here this week.  My hobbies will gather dusk.

I have to focus on being able to do different things now.