Daily Archives: May 6, 2013

And They’re Off and Running!

I realized just today, that one of the big problems I have with weekends, is that it’s a race – I need to have fun, before I have depression.  Once the depression starts, it’s all over.

Most times things do go bad it starts with very high anxiety.  That changes your blood chemistry – it’s like that moment when your body goes into Fight or Flight mode.  Except it lasts 10-30 minutes.

After that the body and mind sort of crash.  And suddenly I am totally set up for depression.  It does not always happen!

The nice thing about this blog is that having a better idea of what is happening, makes it easier to find a way of avoiding it!!  In this case, I see I need things to start with having fun – or at lest soon after the anxiety crash.  And it’s not as easy as it sounds!  Everyone would rather have fun!

But I keep inching forward… learning new things that make other things fit together better.  In that way, it’s just like Physics.

This actually came to me while I was commenting on a Facebook post!

Another Weekend Lost…

to Depression.

There is nothing new in this.  It happens most of the time… at least to some extent.   I plan for things.  Almost every week, I have a “plan”.  It’s really more of a hope now.  But there are so many hurdles to get thru.  And one small mistake, and I tip over the edge.

Anxiety, I am better at managing.  Not really good… but better.  With planning, I can usually overcome even strong anxiety.  Like tomorrow I have to take 2 cats to the Vet.  That is only about 5 blocks away.  But I am already having to deal with the anxiety.

But I have never learned how to overcome depression in that way.  My Doctors tell me it can’t be done… not by brut force anyway.  I can sometimes push myself thru my anxiety.  There is a cost, but I can usually do it.  Depression?  Not so much.

The nature of depression takes away all will, caring, all positive emotions, and leaves very little else.  It’s like trying to just overcome a coma.

Nothing matters…