The Growth of Agoraphobia

It is easy to let agoraphobia grow deeper into our lives.  As I wrote about recently, medication makes it easier to stay home.  As things get more relaxed at home, there is less desire to go out.

Hopefully, less anxiety at home would give me more energy to go out.  But why would I want to do that?  The world outside my door does not have the things I need in my life.  I have reached out for friends, but there are just too many limitations on what I can do.  I’m a mess.

I am better off staying at home.

Social Media can help, but don’t ever confuse it with something that creates real friendships.  On-line friends are as ethereal as the Heavens.  They are not real.  And eventually, they will be gone.  That is the way of it.

Social Media is for sharing good… positive things with people who also want to share good positive things.  If you do not fit into the “happy” mood on-line, you will not be there long.  Trying too hard to fit in will just make things worse.

So my agoraphobia grows, and it will help life become easier… at least in some ways.  I still have to learn how I can go to the grocery store… but I can do a few errands close by home – in town.  I can go on some trips.  I can do all I need here at home.  Why try for more?

My efforts need to revolve around being better able to deal with getting the things done I need to get done, without going out any more than is absolutely necessary.  There are things I can do to make it easier.  First I need to find ways to do the shopping.

Great Session! Then, Kaboom!!

I went to session yesterday morning, and it was really great!  We came up with 2 things for me to plan, to work on over the next 3 weeks.  I went on to see my psychiatrist, and ran into my first problem – she was double booked, and I could not see her.

I went off home, and did not stop for the errands I had felt so good about doing, just an hour before.  I was wiped out, and my anxiety was high.  I felt depression coming on, but I knew it would pass, and I would be okay.

Then the roof fell in.  Not literally, but that would actually have been better.  I can not say what happened, but it blew me away.  I am off Facebook again… this time I think it will be a long time before I go back.

I am physically ill about it.  My hands are still shaking.  I have not eaten, and have no energy for it.  My world just got a lot smaller.

It is so hard to try to be social when you are an agoraphobe… Social Media was a God-send.  Was…  Now I feel more alone than I ever have been.  And I do not know what to do…  I can not trust anyone anymore.

This will have a great negative affect on my Blogs as well.  The great majority of visitors were FB “friends”.  So this too may fade away now.

I don’t know.