Daily Archives: March 5, 2013

Thinner Skin… Thicker thoughts?

Not a great title, but it’s sort of how I feel.  I can feel a struggle within my mind at times.  My emotions are closer to the edge… and my anxiety goes up much more quickly when something is out of sorts.

I don’t have much patience with myself, or any one else.  My anxiety is not under as much control as I got used to.  And I don’t like it!  I can feel it, and I can feel that I have to suppress it.  It’s as if my anxiety wants to break out and take over.  At least it feels that way.

I still think it’s too soon to change my meds again, but it is dragging me down sometimes.  I am going to think about it, and pay close attention to how it is affecting my thoughts.  I may call my psychiatrist later this week.

Next Wednesday I see both my psychologist, and psychiatrist.  But I may not want to wait until then.

I tried calling my doctor’s office… my anxiety surged, and I could not go thru with it.  There is a recording from her assistant saying they will call me back.  That’s when I have to hang up.  I tried a second time.

I am not in control of my anxiety.  I will wait for my appointment next Wednesday.  This will be okay.  It will have to be.

A Small Update

I have not written… because I have not been able to figure out what to say.  My meds have changed, and things are going better.  But I know it is not enough.  My psychiatrist thinks I will need more, but we are waiting for things to really settle down.  It takes time.

I am doing pretty well when I am home alone.  But it has let me down at other times.  It is much harder to go out… for any reason.  Even going for the mail has to be carefully planned.  And I have less patience with myself, and others.  I more easily have too much anxiety, and many – though short periods of depression.

It will take longer to figure out my meds.  But I still have things I need to do.  There are places I want to go.  I just have less energy for it than even a year ago.

I think I have fallen back more than that year.  I am doing better at home, but nowhere else.  Even at home I can not stay on task for very long.

Things will get better… in time.  I am just working thru it all, and I trust things will get better.