I have been going thru a mental breakdown these last 24 hours. Events ran beyond my control, and I reacted out of confusion, and anger. I made a public statement I now regret. But it was all initiated outside of my control.
I spent much of today in bed… depressed. But now I am empty, and people are angry at me. Of course… no-one contacted me about this at all, so I did not immediately realize the impact.
It has left me drained, and feeling really bad about myself. It also makes me realize there is no-one out there who would cross the street to piss on me if I were on fire.
I am sorry to sound angry, but I am. It’s mostly a reaction to the initial event, and the realization that I am always more alone than I thought I was.
My feelings are very confused right now… but I had to say something to someone.