My Evening Low

Almost every day, I have a late afternoon low… sometimes I crash out completely.  But usually I can get thru it.  It comes at that time when I realize I have not got as much done as I should have, and that time is running short on getting more done.

It does not mean I will jump up and get at things.  Usually it means I will have to work very hard to just remain up, and be active at all.  The best thing to do is to try to ride it out.

Most days I feel like I have failed… like I did not do well enough.  It’s a struggle to keep going, and I have been struggling all day with each little thing I have done.  I have overthought each item, and stalled because of it.  I stop and restart… and stop again.

It just ends up leaving me feeling worse as the evening goes on.  Including this evening.  I am having a difficult time right now.  I don’t know if I should go to bed, or cry, or what.  Maybe I will just “what”.

It’s hard to describe… thoughts swirl thru my brain faster than I can keep track of.  I can’t keep up, and anything positive I think of, is lost.  Though the negative aspects hang on.  They are always there.

Swirling thoughts, and surging emotions swamp out all reason, and it takes hours to recover… if I do.

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